This Blog is more story than on point blog but I'm sharing it anyway.
It happened so fast. He gasped at the enormity of the SNAP of the transition from one level of consciousness, one reality, to another. He would have fallen to his knees if he were still a physical being. With that seamless suddenness, an explosion of awareness opened up seemingly limitless perceptions. He could see, hear and be in a thousand places at once but felt no physical presence, purely an awareness of mind, emotion and heart. He could also hear and feel the thoughts and feelings of thousands of people at once, and their emotions were visible as lights with brilliant colors. Their personality types also revealed themselves in an infinite variety of differing hues. Some were bright and vibrant while others were much less so. If he pushed a bit further he could see the stories of their lives, and not only the past and present, but the likely future as well.
It took some time for him to realize that what connected him to these thousands of others was love, in the many and varied ways we love each other. The love he felt pointed towards him was enormous … even people he didn’t know … and they numbered in the tens of thousands. He had no idea he had profoundly touched so many lives.
Finding one’s purpose in life is like a rail journey, where we have to use our senses to find our destination. Some journeys are very long and have many twists and turns, with false starts and false stops, while others are quite short. His was short. Holding his father’s hand at the outdoor market near his family home, he heard a sound, a ‘braaap’ like a mechanical goat might make. He turned his head to see a young man riding away from town on a small displacement motorcycle. At barely three he knew right then and there that he had found his destination … and that it was on two wheels.
Now it was over.
He could feel the enormous colors of disbelief, loss, anger and sadness as he looked into the many lives he was connected with. A Tsunami of guilt washed over him as he saw, heard and felt their love and the associated anguish of his passing. It was a freak accident that claimed his life. An early race slide-out that went horribly wrong thrust him helplessly and unavoidably in the path of his fellow racers. But he knew that he wanted to do well so badly that he had played the cards of risk recklessly many times, and had many warnings. He took full responsibility for pain he had caused so many and decided that as punishment he would force himself to stare into the misery he had caused … and he did.
As he stared into that mass of sadness, anger and loss and as he forced himself to go through those feelings with all who loved him he began to notice changes in the lives he focused his consciousness on: Some had unquestionably changed … and the likely paths of their lives had changed as well. Particularly 18 of those lives, 16 boys and 2 girls, and he also noticed that they, like himself, had very bright, open and good-hearted personality colors. As he focused on them he noticed that previous to his death their likely life paths were very short. Very short indeed.
His passing had changed them and the choices they made. He looked hard to see if he had caused their brightness to dim, and it had not. He looked at all the lives he connected with and found that only a small percentage dimmed after his passing and in fact it seemed, after the period of pain requisite for grief, the lives of those he loved were improved by his. Some held an undying love for him in their hearts and many made decisions a bit more cautiously than they had before, and this led to the happy consequence of less negative consequences.
Having the heart and talent to compete on the world stage he realized he had been an example of living life to its fullest and his death didn’t diminish that … it only modified it to add a bit more caution. Even the best of us can tempt fate too much.
He decided that because he now realized that his life had caused much more good than bad, he no longer needed to punish himself. As that awareness entered his consciousness a bright light appeared in the near distance and he knew he should walk towards it. He was then filled with the great sadness of saying good-bye to those we love.
As he walked on, he looked back and smiled.
This story is inspired by and dedicated to the late, great Marco Simoncelli.